"...even shimmering in the rain Brighton looks like a town recovering from a multiple orgasm."
Julie Burchill, Guardian article here
“Brighton is very nice, but I'm not sure about the sea. I think the sea is a mistake. I mean, what does it want, banging and crashing away on the shore like that all day?”.
And probably most famously
"Brighton is a town that always looks as if it is helping police with their inquiries."